Losing our Sanity... 8 Weeks Before the Build

​Disclaimer: The term "Earthship" in the below writings is used to describe our Earthship-inspired ​home.

Have we lost our damn minds?  After only learning what an Earthship was eight months ago, we've decided, perhaps naively so, that we can build one.  By ourselves.  Without conventional financing.  And yes, you read that correctly.  We only learned what an Earthship was eight months ago and are about to begin building one ourselves.  I repeat:  Have we lost our damn minds? 

Ravenous for change, this style of home met all our wants and needs and so we decided to "drink the Kool-Aid" together and refused to look back.  While that "no regrets" part sounded good in theory, in practice, we're presently finding it difficult.  And so, here we are, "looking back" and questioning how sound our decision was after all.  Adding to our stress is the strain of straddling our conventional life with the rosy, sustainable life we're working toward.  This strain is becoming more glaring than ever as we get closer to building our dream home. 

When we Craig's get stressed, we're either total turds to each other or things just get weirder than normal.  Fortunately for us, weird has won over for the time being.   Zac and I have the comedic chops of pre-pubescent boys and as such, one of our biggest stress relievers has been playing pranks on one another.  Though, in doing so, we're blurring the ethical and moral boundaries of what one can and should do to their spouse in pursuit of a good chuckle. To save what dignity we have left, however, I will spare the gory details of our marital pranks until it otherwise becomes advantageous for me to disclose them for personal gain.  Just know that this ongoing poking and ribbing is what is allowing us to proceed with building though we're questioning everything right now.

These prank-sessions are imperative as we get very little time together as an intact family unit and we need to make the most of those rare moments we get to see each other face-to-face.  The prep work leading up to the actual building of our home is leaving us depleted and we're left wondering how we're going to endure the months and years to come.  While Zac and I would ideally be sharing in all the duties (planning, sourcing materials, prepping the site) we have a child and so that freedom to float between and share duties is not a possibility.  Why didn't we think of this before we had a child?  It would have been much easier!  We're gluttons for punishment, I suppose.  Thus, we're left with tasks we tackle in solitude.  Zac is at our land prepping the site and organizing materials and I'm home with our Wee One, keeping him alive and organizing and strategizing in preparation for our build.

We both hit a wall this past weekend and are noticing that the closer we get to building, the more frequent our mental breakdowns become.  As a mental health counselor and an optimist, I'm predisposed to see these periods of time as "opportunities for growth" (cue the eye rolls) and truly believe that we will emerge stronger than ever before once this is all said and done.  But, "said and done" isn't even in our sights and so the road ahead appears unbearably long and rocky; though still oddly appealing.  Like a moth to flame we are.  I desperately wish that there was a support group for individuals working toward an off-the-grid life on a budget in the Dayton area as it would save me the glazed over faces of friends and family who think we're totally off our rockers.  "You're doing what?" they say.  "That's not going to work!"  Well, we'll show you, you Negative Nancy Nay-Sayers!

Choosing a radically more sustainable future feels unbearably isolating at times.  We've been finding it difficult to articulate to friends and family just how many plates we have spinning in the air right now in working toward building our Earthship-inspired home.  They're concerned with cutting back carbs and what colors they're choosing for their new bathroom remodel and we're left with the mountainous task of building our home, securing all of our resources (electricity, water, how we'll heat and cool our home, etc.) and building a landscape that supports and provides our future food supply.  On the hierarchy of needs, our focus has been dropped to the bottom portion of the pyramid.  Shelter and food production is our focus for the future.  As you can imagine, we're also finding it increasingly difficult to relate to some long-time friends and some family members.  We've already met some like-minded individuals since we began planning our home and hope that by raising our "freak flag" high, we'll attract even more to help fill the voids we see emerging as time passes and we appear crazier and crazier to those who used to find us to be acceptable human beings.

In perusing YouTube yesterday for some videos on rain harvesting systems, I came across a documentary made by Les Stroud, Canadian filmmaker and survival expert, which depicts his family's move toward an off-the-grid life.  The documentary is titled Survivorman- Off the Grid.  In viewing it, my wishes were granted for a support group as I could identify with nearly every aspect of their struggle.  Like the Stroud family, we are working toward a radically more sustainable future and are working with a pretty tight deadline.  Every task is dependent on another which is making it very difficult to feel as though we are making any real progress with only eight weeks left till the build.  Unlike the Stroud family, we don't have an excavator or other heavy machinery, we'll be constructing the home ourselves without the aid of contractors and we don't have anywhere near the financial resources at our disposal. 

Nevertheless, seeing another family struggle with a similar dream and hitting barrier after barrier-- as sick as that may sound-- was therapeutic and I quickly phoned Zac before his shift got started this morning and told him that he NEEDED to watch this documentary.  Despite the fact that they obviously are starting out with more financial resources than we are, they were pretty isolated in the wilderness and didn't have a community of supporters nearby to help out with their endeavor.  With that said, I would also recommend that you watch this documentary as it realistically portrays the struggles of working toward a more sustainable future and depicts a real family making this push.

Now I know that we haven't yet begun our build, but I think I can safely say that if you hope for a more sustainable future, there are a multitude of ways to gain more freedom in your life and move in this direction.  We are a typical, frugal family.  My husband works a full-time job and I have two part-time jobs and stay at home with our son.  If we can make the move to a more sustainable future, so can you!  I know I've been a bit downtrodden throughout this, but am hopeful that getting our hands dirty and actually beginning the built will satiate our appetite for real progress toward the drastically more sustainable future we yearn for.